Here I Am

Whatever I write...

I know that you will know it...

I also know it hurt you a lot...

But then, I know what i do ... It's worth...

As I decide the decision start, I know that I gotta hurt you & myelf a lot

But then,

I have to thanks to INTEYO LC1210 a lot ...

It let me to say it out ...

The feeling is letting go ...

I know that I didn't keep it...

The moment I cry, I say it out, I shout when I imagine you in front of me...

I know that you won't know this =')

After stop crrying,

I heard Jay Chou song, I cry again cause of you...

My Hyper's mummy try to comfort me =')

I know that I should be tough...

I had to let go everything...

The reason will not for you in this moment but it will also not being to let you know forever...

Cause this might be a unbelieveable reason for you & everyone ...

hahaha XD

I know that I'm silly but then Being a bad guy also not bad what...

Rather then, that person being the bad guy xD

For not spoiling the relationship of you two,

it is the best way xD

When the going get tough, the tough get going !!!

Thx Farif daddy & Yee Shiun mummy xD

4ssss

maybe it's true =')

What am I doing?

The wrong things?

Yes

The stupid one.

Whatever i did just only stupid things

What can i did?

What i did correct?

The only wrong one.

I never satisfy you.

I always just cause dance and game and let you alone.

My wrong.

I'm the wrong one.

Whatever i say just a knife that hurt you.

Yesterday is you want me to try the feeling of alone.

Thx.

I hope it will be everyday to me =')

I hope that the road is i'm the one who walk alone again...

Don't ever say you didn't

Don't ever say I didn't

Don't ever say I emo again =')

The end of friendship??

There is no more my name in this friendship list.

I'm the only stranger who should leave.

I remember how the life's I get

***

I'm the WORST one !

I'm the WRONG one in you all !!

I'm the one who DESTROY you all !!!

I'm the only who should LEAVE you all !!!!

The one who SPOIL everything of you all !!!!!

I'm the one who is always BLAMING you all !!!!!!

I'm the only one who let you all SAD, MOODY, ANGRY !!!!!!!

I'm the one who SEPERATE you all friends in other class !!!!!!!!

I'm the one who always ACCUSE you all WRONG in anythings !!!!!!!!!
I'm the one who should be HATE in this class 3A3,CAN ACCEPT ?!!!!!!!!!

Thx for your good status, Shan~

"We r always the wrong 1...."

No matter how much you all do...

you all never remember what you all say to me last time forever!!

Are there any memory in your mind?

What friendship is?

What am I between all of you?

Are there a place for me to join?

Are there a chance for me to explain?

Are there a time for me to change?

NO

Here is what I want to say...

2-5-2010

A message from W.Qi.

"After saw your facebook...Your friends did not say don't want you...

Having history project, we didn't ask you to join because you are to good with CHUAH MEI WEI them...

We are so scared that our project will loss as last year...

Althought, we don't know was who give that project...

If you still believe, then please don't hide yourself anymore...We also don't know want to talk what with you...Maybe you very hate us~

Last year class 2A3 is almost finished..."

Times for me to ask...

Does this Message you sent to me, you still remember??

Are you?

Maybe not...

But then, do you know what this message gives me?

Ift gives me happiness & smiles...

Does this message still work ??

Maybe the answer is not...

Because you all are thinking me I'm the one stranger in this FRIENDSHIP.

Maybe, you all are thinking I'm the one who betray you all...

I'm dumb to everything...

This is the first one...

Here comes the second...

4-5-2010

8 message from Shan...

1st

"Are you having something in your heart this few days??

I felt that you are not happy =="

2nd,

"If we talk to you, will you talk back to us as lst time?"

3rd,

"I really hope that we will be back as last time. Study together. Have project together."

4th,

"Then, I say the truth..I felt that you should not be so emo...Actually you had a lot of friends...The only is you felt that yourself didn't have =="

5th,

"Ok then. All are our wrongs...I just want to know...How can we be back as lasst time?"

6th,

"Are you unlike all of us?"

7th,

"Do you really don't need us anymore?"

8th

"If you don't need us anymore, it's ok...but then you have to remember we are your friends forever...Forever..."

Shan, all the message on top are lies of you or the sincere of you want to say?

Do you still remember it?

The answer is NO again, right?

Those message are not work anymore again, right?

The 8th MESSAGE is not the one that will work for now and forever.

Am I right?

All of this message...

They are my memories...

They give me memory...

How the life's of our friendship go...

But now??

The friendship is the end of us ??

I just want to know the answers...

YES or NO??

For this friendship,

Last time, i cried for it for a lots of time...

For now, I am crying to types all...

What for?

I don't want to loss anyone of Friends that I had...

But

I'm am feeling so stupid to myself.

Why am I doing those things?

Begging?

Or finding?

I don't know.

I just know,

Today(11-11-2010), I saw all of you angrying me on dancing in class...

The moment, I felt that I had did a huge wrong...Serious wrong...

All of you are staring us...Angrying us...Felt that we are annoying....

Maybe it was the truth...

Everyone felt I'm annoy also...

I saw all of you kept the uno and return back to Angel Low

I heard you all are scolding...

I know that I'm the wrong one who ask for dance...

I'm the wrong one...

3 boys go out class, one of the three back to class and took his bag angrily...

I saw it by my own.

Don't you say that it just my wrong feelings...

??3A3??

Is it the class of mine?

They are still classmates?

They are still my friends?

I don't know...

Sorry...all are just the stubborn of me...

Being the destroyer in this class.

Doing stupid in this class.

I'm the only WRONG~

If I can Back to Last time ......

If I Can Back To Last Time,

I hope that I'm the one who not destroy this class.

I felt that the present of me had destroy the happiness of this class.

I felt that I'm the one let this class pupil cry the most.

I felt that there is a lot hate me because of my style, attitude.

I'm the one who let everyone felt annoy in this year.

This class really because of me and be seperate into groups...

I'm so lousy.

There is nothing.

Just cause of me, everyone sad

Just cause of me, everyone mad

Just cause of me, everyone emo

Just cause of me, everyone hate someone.

Just cause of me,

Fault are everywhere.

If I Can Back To Last Time,

I might choose to be at another place.

The place might cause us not to meet.

Maybe the appear of me,

The sadness come more and more...

If I Can Back To Last Time,

I wan back what i had last year 2A3.

But the most I want it.

The more I lost it.

Is it what I should get?

The smile that I might get from you all...

Lost it ...

there is no more smile to me.

Why?

Why should all of you did this to me?

Is it what you all want?

appreciate friendship that i have?

yup, i did it.

But you all are not!!

You all had reject me!!

I'm not the one of the gang !!

I realise it!

You all not chatting with me.

You all not going out with me.

Even just a party.

Everytime, I just told myself.

"They just forget me suddenly, they actually din forget me."

But I noe that,

this comfort just for myself a while.

There won't be longer...

Finally,

I lose myself.

I'm emo again.

I'm mad again.

So, pls dun say I'm blaming.

I'm just cause of you all..

Sorry.

I'm just telling the truth.

If I Can Back To Last Time...

what to do?

If there is a machine to let me back to last time.

what will I do?

I choose to leave here forever.

I dont want to hear that the blame.

I dont want to see anyone sad again.

but the most wrong is me.

I change everything and destroy a lot of things

If one day,

I change school,

Hope that I'm Just never the friend of you all know anymore

And forget it =)

Im so stupid !!!

If really not hope that i watch your blog....

then dun told me that u will invite me...

i on9 everyday to wait ur invite but u din so...

wat u really wan to means?

or im not wat u reali want and nid??

juz forget about it ba....

u not reali want to invite me to read through ur blog oso....

juz Forget the promise ba...

u never rmb wat u promise....

i speechless...

Enough on ur sory...

i wont stop u anymore...

i wont control u anymore...

juz be back what u r...

im useless...

Never Get any reason

Maybe, what i should do is just change...

What i do, no ppl accept it...

What i do, just get reject...

i know myself well...

i'm just a puppet...

control control control...

maybe ba...

i just to endure all of it...

what should i do?

I should stay or leave?

Make your choice

The truth that you leave

看天边乌云一片 透明回忆下在窗前
猛然回首却是件 痛苦呻吟的宣示言
开口说~出口后 梦从此不甜
那牵著手的画面 何时又浮现在眼前
Forver不叫永远 对我来说都只是谎言
若转身就是离别 若我们早该要绝缘
是谁又断了谁 说爱你的誓言
就让烟火绚烂这夜 我剪断想你的~线

雨声 想念 那碰撞 在窗前
一不小心跌入了无底深渊
扯破 寂寞 我爱过 我很懂 都走过

花朵 凋落 这疯狂 有过
我的世界时间走不动
沉默 理由 盒子里 塞满 了难过

学会去懂 得 享受 分开后残留的温柔
却也剩这些 可以拥有
谁拥抱著我 那温柔却一直存在我心中
乌云离开了 晴朗的天空
深深 体会 那感觉 多好过
连心里也有阳光洒落
拨开 寂寞 当回忆 浮起 不想躲
笑声 快乐 我想要 带走
我的世界时间重新走
沉默 理由 盒子里 那些 不再有

深深 体会 那感觉 多好过
连心里也有阳光洒落
拨开 寂寞 当回忆 浮起 不想躲
笑声 快乐 我想要 带走
我的世界时间重新走
沉默 理由 盒子里 那些 不再有
wo~

everything i do i do it for you

look into my eyes - you will see
what you mean to me
search your heart - search your soul
and when you find me there you'll search no more
don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
you can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
you know it's true
everything i do - i do it for you
look into my heart - you will find
there's nothin' there to hide
take me as i am - take my life
i would give it all - i would sacrifice
don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
i can't help it - there's nothin' i want more
ya know it's true
everything i do - i do it for you
there's no love - like your love
and no other - could give more love
there's nowhere - unless you're there
all the time - all the way
oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
i can't help it - there's nothin'

依然是朋友

情人节的前一天,他离开你身边
却剩下你到至今的想念,
那一夜我陪着你,你哭了一整夜
你是否知道我对他一样很想念
直到有一天我和他碰面
在那间我们常去的咖啡店
才知道有些感受
我和他谁都不曾说出口
我们之间隐藏了什么
除了我自己没人懂
可是你,你怎么说
你知道好事不是从此避开我
哦,我一样难过
多希望我们不曾相识过
才知道有些感受
我和他谁都不曾说出口
我们都是最好的朋友
谁会有勇气去开口
不在乎不再难过
我们还有好大好大的借口 喔~
故事的最后
我们都不曾失去过什么
我们依然是朋友

你比从前快乐

走在熙来攘往的街头
你不再牵着我的手
小心翼翼的将你的小指勾
泪也小心翼翼的流
有些事情你在瞒着我
你终于还是开了口
淡淡一句 还是朋友
泪也如刀割
知道分手后你不难过
你比从前快乐
那祝福的话叫我如何能够说的出口
过往的欢乐是否褪色想问你怎么舍得
不要在耳边再说你会想我
我的手你不再牵着
你不难过

reward of my take part in this life

enough on ur sori...
i dun nid any apologize...
i juz hate myself tat i failed to do everything u wan...
so i'm the only to apologize to you...
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
i failed to be ur bf...

you are not bad...
you are not selfish...
you are not the one who should leave...
i'm the only worst...
i'm the only who most selfish...
i'm the only who should leave here...
i hate myself...
i hate my own...

you don't nid to cry...
you are crying for a destroyer...
UNWORTH!!!!
unworth to cry for a destroyer!!!
you dun nid to cry anymore...
i choose to leave between u two...
bcoz i noe im the only who destroy u ...
i destroy happiness of u all...
i destroy everything...
i destroy a lot of ur things...
i choose to leave ...
bcoz i duwan to hurt u
i duwan to let u be sad coz of me...

what relation u think we have to be now...
u decide it...
i no decision...
smile?
can i?
maybe it will be...but not sincere is simper...
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

Shin,
dun nid to be sad coz of me...
dun nid to be dissapointed coz of tis...
dun nid to regret coz of tis...
forget it...
u dun nid a destroyer to accompany u...
but u nid him to let u happy, laugh, cheer up and colourful...

i leave...be happy ya~
=)

puppet life~~

maybe tat is wat u wan from me...

being a puppet may be more gud...

i follow it....

all juz my wrong....

my fault....

i did it wrongly...

wat u wan, i juz follow...

i no comment...

i stop it all my comment now...

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

JCI Concert

Yesterday night,
i was having a performance at the jci charity concert.
whee~
quite a lot ppl de...
our dance performance were start before the open ceremory...
when we start to perform,
i heard a lot ppl shouting.
but i dunoe who are them...
hahaha XD
after finish performance,
i noe that all of my members,
get virus on dancing...
keep dancing here dancing there...
=.=lll boom!
then we have d-music perform, b-box and popping show...
one word to gv them-----COOL!
after the concert,
we keep playing at downstair...
then dance together...
about 10.45..
i went back...XD
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
thanks to my dancing partner:
baby-boy
hui ying
harn shin
su yinn
shun xian
yu liang
Thank you^^V

smtg...

ok...
my wrong...
i vry easy to angry...
i admit it...
all juz my wrong...
ok?
i cant accept tat she close wif boy.
i vry close to others girl.
i try to say them in front her.
i dun lk ppl to say me.
i hurt ppl a lot
i ply a fool ppl a lot
i say ppl a lot
i dun like ppl ply a fool on me
i dun like ppl hurt me
i dun like ppl to say me
ya, i admit it
tat's me
my wrong
ok?
u dun nid to chg for me
i chg now!!!!
i chg by now!!
ok?
i oso din put any pressure on u all...ok?
i juz say i will chg only...
ok?

Alone...

得一个人
单身一个我 昂然独行
身心跃起
望向天际 拥抱星月吻
得一个人竟也不孤单
作伴有我梦我影我身
沐浴雷电 自由自在人
前路是命运与缘份
用我一阙歌 一个心
来为我未来一一探问
问你几次冤 多少爱
才在一生永远铸下印
长为我透骨透肉透深心
是否愿意 今生 陪我一阵横竖你也是得一个人

Sorry =(

What i say at here is real now...

_

Shin, you don't need to change. the person who should change is me. you didn't change at all. the person who change the most is me. i can't accept anything. And stop blaming yourself, you are correct, i'm wrong.

_

Yinn, i'm just a liar. sorry. i know that whatever i say now, it's no use at all. So, make your choice.

i don't want to force you. Be back last time de you. I don't wanna to let you dissapointed. I'm wrong.

_

Maybe is the time to let go all of you.

I'm not suitable now.

I'm destroyer.

I can't accept anything now.

I will stop myself now.

_

Sorry , All my friends...

My birthday XD

today 00.00 a lot of ppl send me wish....
but i'm sleeping XP
wakakax
then 02.xx i suddenly wake up...
nvm lo see msg then sms bek to them....
after sms then slp...
hoho^^
7.30 go hua lian 3 for taekwondo...
until 10.00 go to Larut Matang wif fren...Stephanye...(driver)=p
eat thr...
she treat me ais kacang^^...
hoho...
then a person suddenly came n ask for donation...
then we donated Rm10 lo....
he gave us a card wor...
nice la...
can write to wish ppl...
^^
then 11 went back by 11car...>.<
quickly bath ...then go rest....
accidentaly,i slp d....
slp until 12.03 only wake up...
OMG....
faster prepare then run to KFC lo...
haha...
luckily,just a shinning couple n yu liang thr...
then we wait all arrive d only go order....
we order 4 set zinger tower
1 regular set
2 cheezy wedges
1 popcorn chicken
XD =D
about 1p.m. , ping pei back d....
then about 1.xx,we went to KTV....
two ppl starting to slp inside....
yinn n ing...
then we quickly find Hot song n play it....
let them wake up....
hohoho....
muahahax~
after ktv...
poh im,keok ing,su yinn n ka yee back lo>.<
then go popular find ye wei...
TO>>ye wei
lol u la....
we go thr, then u back....
beat u a>.<...
then,
we walk here walk there....(me,wei qi n yu liang)
wait yu liang's mum at popular...
then about 6 all back d....
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
this year,
happy...
get a lot of wish n present too....
1st,thx for all dance student celebrate my b'day at studio wif me =p
>Shun Xian,Yu Liang,Wei Qi,Babyboy,Alex,Hui Ying,Yee Ming,Su Yinn,Harn Shin,Wen Ching,Keok Ing...
2nd,thx for those who wishing me^^
>>Su Yinn,Poh Im,Kai Xin,Jia Xin,Khai Ming,Wei Ai,Yu Liang,Ee Ling,Wei Ying,Keok Ing,Li Ming jiejie,Wai Ling,Miki Qi,Ai Shin,Ye Wei,Ji Wei,Zhang Rui,Ming Fern,Stephanye jiejie,Stephanie Gan jiejie,Yi Zhong,Zing Yi jiejie,Harn Shin,Areege,Yen Nie,Yi Lei,Ka Yee jiejie,Angie Tang,Wei Qi,Ping Pei...
3rd,thx for those who crazy wif me todayXD
>>>Wei Qi, Ping Pei, Yu Liang, Su Yinn, Ka Yee jiejie, Poh Im, Keok Ing...
4th, those who giving me present...(29th&30th)
>>>>Yee Theng jiejie,Yumi Snow jiejie,Li Ming jiejie,Wen Ching,Stephanye jiejie,Su Yinn,Ka Yee jiejie,Keok Ing, Shun Xian, Yu Liang, Wei Qi, Ping Pei, Poh Im & Kai Xin^^
That's all....
TQ@.@

Jan 1st~~

Today went to butterworth wif family...

go to my dad's fren shop open ceremony...

we arrive thr about 10 smtg...

we walk around n see the things inside...

hoho~giv me saw a LED light for PC use...

Lmao...

it is cheaper than taiping sold ...>.<

Luckily , laz time i didnt buy at tpg==

but i oso didnt buy at thr^^

haha~~

afterthat we went to auto city...

we have our lunch thr...

my sis suggest us went to a reataurant

name -->Boston(if i didnt remember wrong...XP)

i order a Fish fillet pineapple cheese baked rice and a ice blended mocha...

not bad...

taste good ...

haha....^^

my sis ate a plate of seafood rice...

Lmao...

kinda a lot....

my sis cant finish so i finish it lo...

I am MPT

=.=lll

hoho....

that's all...

My sister's Seafood rice...

My fish fillet pineapple cheese baked rice...
My ice blended mocha