Be tough of what really mean.

What was the 1st hit on me when i'm really depress?
Crying in the middle of night?
Listening to music and dance?
Having athlete training?
No. I can't release them out.
Don't ask me why.
sometime, you just can't tell it out to those who are around you.
you just want them to reassure you more than worry.
you just smile for the day.
you just be happy for the day.
You just try to forget what really make more worry.

By the way,
I don't remember when was the day that i let go.
I don't remember who were they listen to me.
I don't remember what can help me.

the feeling ...
when you saw the photo.
when you heard that your friend dislike you.
when you know your out.
when you fail to get to target.

Sorry for everything, my friends.
You all never know a smile is how important.
I just know I'm dump!

I will be the strongest !

What actually affect human being the most?
No one can conclude on this.
Everyone has it own starting point and ending point =]

So far so good.
I know this time will be the last time for me to stand on this stage.
I take so much training to get into this competition and now, there is another two get in.
So, they are going to participate with me...
yea... The reason is they are good although no training ...
The moment I heard this, I was like LOL !!!!
And I knew that I lost it my silver medal last.
Fine. It's okay !
I'll be the most shine in front of you this time.
I'll let you know who is the strongest this time, teacher!
I'm not fake! I'm the only one who should deserve this !
I'll break every single record at last time...
I mean it when i say it .
Now, I'll be there right back on my own style, own opportunity and my own hardworking !
I believe this will be the only for you to think that i'm different =D
110 hurdles

400m

1500m
javelin -- 38m
shot put -- 10m

long jump -- 5.4m
high jump -- 160m
I'm ready to GOld!

SPIRIT * COMMITMENT * HARDWORKING

go for my 2nd blog =]

http://leekahwei.tumblr.com/

Why so complicated??

1st thing that I'm going to talk about is facilitators of GenY camp.
hmmmm...
What actually will a person feel is happy, glad & excited...
Yea, I'm so glad to be the faci of camp again =D
I'm going camp again !
yea, that's what I want...
the things that I had been waiting for 3 months alike 3 years.[ sounds like i'm old]

Camp feel is here, full of spirit.
For real, I can't wait to go until the camp site and mad with campers.
However, these 3 days let me feel happy & sad together.
I'm sad... why?
I feel that i'm being ignore by faci team.
I can't get into their title.
I can't know what they talking about.
They don't really need me?
I don't know.
I feel myself can't talk to those senior in group.
What the real reason actually?
I'm annoy?
Don't ask me. I may feel that too.
I just don't know what to do.
I'm tpg only faci now.
so, how??
what to do? I'm not that good as other.

They get a good relation to Mabel.
I just feel that I'm nearly to kick out from there.
So, who know ?
I'm just afraid of this to happen.
Just smtg more to say.(all is just my mind after i think)
P.tong _ You know what? Suddenly, I feel that you've change a lot. You change to not bother some of us. I felt that during camp. Do you know that? I still know that we Didn't talk to each other for more than 3 sentences during camp... I don't know what make me remember this so deeply in my heart. I just can't accept it. What had I did wrong actually? If i'm wrong, can you tell me?

2nd, smtg that really not that much for me but still let me feel so angry...
Boy, if you don't love her then don't tell her those sweet & love words.
Those words will hurt her and left scars with her forever.

you know what? You only know you are good enough to her.
You think those things that you do out of her sight is just nobody know.
hahaha! You're wrong exactly! you just let her know too much.
What you write as your text msg sent to her, girl can feel that.
Girl sense is always that strong.
do you know what is exactly in her??
She feel that she is the 3rd person in this relationship so strong!!!!
You know why?! Cause those things that you did to her.
What she want , just your accompany, some trust.
She trust you a lot.
Sometimes, she know you lie her but what to do?!
She just don't want to tell out and get each other further so she just trust it ....
Why you never appreciate when you have?

3rd, K.yeng...
Jie, you noe what?
I don't know what reason make me to take you for so important =X
You make me to do so.
To be honest, I worry you every time.
I don't know what will happen next.
I wait your text msg everyday. What to do?
 I just feel to make you happy everyday.
you know what? Remember that day after eating at stadium.
Remember what you text and say to me =]
You say that you miss me when I'm not texting you during camp.
hmmm...

 I'm so happy that time. I suddenly feel to go and hug you tightly & give you a kiss.
Btw, this will never happen between us although how close we are, right? hahah!
4sss <3

4th, I'm tpg ? so what?!
I knew I'm tpg! that's why I couldn't go Ipoh everytime.
I can't go for gathering. I can't meetup whenever you guys hang out.
I can't go hike with you all. I can't yum cha with you all.
And this the reason that made me to lost connection with you all??
And it make us have a long distance? =C
I just don't want all this to happen but what to do actually?
I can't do anything....
how?
I'm just so stupid sometimes. I feel so tension to everything.
I can't know what you all talking about somewhere else since i'm tpg.
I can't ask you all to talk about tpg famous places too.
I'm just duno what to talk.
Tpg and Ipoh are totally difference style.
Even though talk.
='X
tears...

5th, You noe what I mentioned there...
you will feel hurt when you started to read it.
btw, sorry.
To be honest, really sorry.
That's what I feel. I just don't want to lie.
I sincerely hope that you can accept it.
Trust me if you think it's ok.
If you doubt, just ask me =]
I just don't want you to suspect me kay? =)
Just promise me :]
Take care yourself nicely.
I'm going to buy a lot of food to put at your house for preventing tou GASTRIC HAPPEN!!!!
RAWR!!!!!
9 . '2'5''24.''1
See, I still remember =3
Vanila =P

I am wrong one. =']

Who know what happen next.
Who know what in my heart.
Who know what to heal.
Who know what do i feel when i 1st read the status.
Who know what i really wan to tell.
Who know what i care deeply.
Who can help me to complete.

Everything is just come with a sudden.
Friend? A truth friend which can really hear me.
No. There is no one for me now.
Who do really accompany me when i need the most?
Don't always say you are trying to be.
When the time i want to go to your there, you say NO PLEASE.
Whatever you dun like, you hate, did you tell me?? NO
Every time, who you tell the most? Ask yourself ba.
Not only you will jealous, I'm human too pls.
The picture will cause that then how about those pic in your phone.
Haha. I do jealous yet i can take it as nothing because i noe who is the most for me.
However, you take the picture as so serious until tears. OK, i get it.
Yet, the only something i wish to say to someone, it get you to mad and lie me.
Hide it from me and told to your bestie.
En. I get it.
Give me time.
I feel i'm so stupid now.
Don't say i'm not.
Don't say i didn't hurt you. I admit i did.
Don't say i always care others most.
Don't say anything to me from now.
I know I never understand you the most.
I know what you say that day when i keep quiet in school.
I still rmb it, i still can feel the pain in my heart.
So, fuck me off if you feel to.
I will pissed myself away =]

Just let me tell out, i don't mind you to jealous.

It's only what i want to say here？ MAYBE
I never demand you anything.

I just need a msg from you and let me noe your fine & ntg.
However, every time you answer me the same things.
I hate that answer.
Did you forget the things that you learn during camp??
ATTITUDE.
this is what you should have right?
Please. Don't waste my effort that i bring you to there .
Be The One Who I Know.
And so, let yourself to be open minded but rational.
Don't disappoint me.
you never know how mad i am when the moment i din receive your msg after i sent so much.
Sometimes' I hate you too.
I admit this.
but somehow, i couldn't because i know you need me to put myself into your shoes.
It's doesn't that hard to let you forget me anymore. =]
Almost one year that we go to our own life.
See... how good you are now. =]

Your short text can make me to forget to worry you, so pls reply me every time=]
no matter how much i say, Mr.Ace still the 1st choice of you =]
Be sure yourself are still there.
I don't know what to say more. =]
To be continue....

I'm not one of them

It's time to let me know i'm not the ONE.
This two days i feel so because i get such respond for them.
I don't know what had i truly did wrong yet my heart is so pain.
I don't like this kind of feelings.
It's so bad.
I'm just start to feel everything is rejecting me. =(

28/NOV

Sometimes, i really don't know who i am at here.
Do you know what did i feel the moment you scolded me so loud?

Do you know what inside my heart?
My heart just like shrink and expand like going to burst.
It is so hurt when the moment i hear all that.
Why do you say that to me?
Am I so useless?
Am I so inability?
All in my brain now are with question mark not a full stop.
I just admit that I'm not that good as them.
I admit this.
Whatever I did from don't know when, I started feel that ALL are WRONG.
I don't even feel that my presence is a RIGHT.
I just hope that i could leave here that day, mummy.
When you say that i'm so helpless at home & shop,
did you know what are my feelings?
I'm just slept for 12 hours after two day not having any dreams and you shot me like that.
I'm just didn't wake to hang those clothes for one day.
I'm just stay at home & not going out to shop work.
So, this is what should i get?
Fine. you already said, I just accept it.

29/NOV

Heart break.
I'm absolutely a stupid idiot boy?
I admit I didn't know how to do it?
It's the 1st time kay?
It's not like you.
I'm not a fast learner I know.
But pratice make perfect.
However, I never do smtg good.
I understand that.
In your heart, I never win you.
I hate the way you scold me.
I hate the way you used to.
You never empathy .
I'm just so sad
your hair colour, I don't know.
I'm just try to help you.

My mood is max to the negative. =C
Mummy Daddy,
please let me change school.
Let me be more independence.=,]