Yes, I'm saying that. =')

Recently, I don't feel good with people surrounding me even the one whom I believe in too.
I don't know why it come out so suddenly yet it's real. Seriously, I don't like this kind of feeling but I felt it quite a time in this period of time.
It's didn't seem to  be good at all but it is hurt and pain inside the heart.
I started to protect myself from being "attack" by people. I started to use Defense mechanism in the terms of psychology. I escape people's question. I stop socialising with people much. I stop giving opinion.
I knew that wasn't me anymore but I don't know where to start off for being the ORIGINAL me.
I only knew that it's hurt when I'm listening what people around me said and looking at what they did.
Is that possible to be me?
I don't know but from the actions and words... Sorry, I gotta say I felt in deeply in my heart.
Things happen for reason. Words stay in mind. Cut in the heart.
Hopefully i'm not but I might admit that I am. =')

If you say NO then please refute me one by one under the situation.

1. I don't know what means by your "brother" but i knew who you take it as brother deeply in heart sincerely. I don't said it out because both of you are too close to each other. Both of you can be said to that having activities everyday. I don't dare to said because I knew I got no power to manage your life. I'm being forgotten quite a lot of times because I'm no longer close. I'm no longer joining you all? Or I just can said I'm no longer the LEADER of the class anymore and that's the reason? Yea, I admit that i'm not a good athlete in any field of I played. I'm not a good runner, jumper, thrower, basketballer and even badminton player. I'm nothing as jade of all trade. I feel to join in but i'm not same like a people that having partner at HERE to accompany. Wrong timing or different relation? I not dare to conclude anything. I just want to know who am I in you two heart? sincerely what? I don't like the feeling that being ignore and knew nothing at all like an idiot there and others knew. It's doesn't make me feel good kay? I'm like a stone on the road being step on. It is so helpless and useless there. Maybe you two gossip me before too but i didn't knew. Yea, sometimes i'm really annoying but I just try to help you two to be on time and not messing things. I failed =') I being said I'm too rushing. ok, fine~
2. In your eyes, I'm not a gentleman. Yea, you told me in another way round. I wasn't that good and nice. In yours words to me, it is different compare to others. Even the respond to me is also different with others. I don't demanding much but a simple respond as normal but ended up u scold me like hell somehow. So? Yea, you're elder. I'm younger. I' m not that good even in sports and so i'm wrong. Maybe, I should said that we don't have the same frequency even sport so it made us to be so. Sorry that I let you pissed of so much time even a small thing. =') Sorry. I knew I mess u up quite a numbers of time. You don't even like me to talking with u and answering. Whatever I said is equal to scold you. Yea. This is what I feel. However, you dare to say that NO, you didn't feel that in the moment? =')
3. Trust is like an eraser. Keep on decreasing but no adding even good things start to happen. We only move forward but no backward. It is like we're only going for tomorrow but not going yesterday anymore. Trust need to be gain but once it crash. Oops, sorry. It is hard to build up =')
   I trusted u before but u put me in like a fool. I don't even know what you really think now. Wrong title between us. We're no longer that kind of friendship. Who's know? haha.... Yea, I'm not the most important to you. That's why I stop myself from being that demanding of you all anymore. Walking alone. Settle things alone. Eating alone. Yup, I did a lot of stuff alone since that moment. So, what? I got no that right to control your life. You are who you are and I am who I am. So, this is me. If friendship between us meant by you is empathing and sympathing me. Sorry, I don't need that because start off from the very start is not this. We got a lot title and we don't need those bullshit stuff to start off the chat title. Nowadays, you got your own written story keeping inside heart wondering to tell or nay. Okay~Fine. I always know that i'm not the one even for one things. This is why I don't go in the problem that you face so deeply anymore. We aren't the best within anyone you knew. You chat so happily with them even things go wrong. So, what for I'm there? hahaha. 

 Maybe, I over sensitive but this is what I do really feel. If things never happrn like this, i'll never being like this. I'm scared of you all. You all are horrible. Two ways going. Sometimes treat me good and suddenly change into another within hours. Sorry, I'm not a good people. I'm tired to all of these. It's tired and hurt when I need to hold all of these along and not burst out in front of you all. And this is what I call "DISTANCE." Yes, I'm saying that. =)