It's time to be mature =]

Maybe this title is quite weird...
However, it is the one which keep flow in my mind. =]

It's my time to blog here again.
Everytime I open it, there is sadness more than happiness as usual.
I was so stupid.
Why I choose those event for myself?
I am so regret for now.
I could beat them and get three gold medal for myself.
Why? What happen to myself?!
I lost every event i had chosen and lost my OLAHRAGAWAN !
Damn. This is what I should get for my last year in this school?
=C I can't accept it. I want myself to be a role model for my team.
I failed! I'm not a real good leader.
Why? Why everytime I will fail for anything that I had prepared for a long time?!
Why must be the success be taken away?
='C 

Friends? Strangers? Gaps? OR Wall?
What  make me so happy for these few months?
What make me so nice for this half year?
What will bring me down from the peak of happiness?? =']
Maybe, I should say I'm not that perfect at all.
Friends, I always feel so hard to join in the title of you all.
I couldn't get into what you all talking.
I felt that I will crush anything which is actually nice & good at first.
I felt there is a big gap with me.
I couldn't get with you all.
I can feel the ignorance from you all for quite a numbers.

what bring me to that?
I try to bring away the gap and get myself to be more closer to you all.
However, I can''t. I failed and failed and failed.
until now, I can really see who is real & who is not.
It's time to leave them to the real one & be the REAL one to those who really need you. =']
To earn friends, give sincere.
To earn respect, give trust.
To earn happy, give smile.
To earn trust, honest & sincere.
Never lie, Never fool & Never suspect ="]

It's time to be mature.
It's time to keep everything a side and bring myself to the peak of the mountain.
It's time to fight for my own glory.
It's time to let go.
It's time to be independent.
It's time to Make A Difference.
It's time to be my real friend? Build trust & sincere =]
That's the way ! 

So Li Tu De

Most of the people don't like this feeling.
i'm the one of them.
I don't like.
i want accompany with relax =]

她长大了...

你变了。
你变得不再像以前那样了。
你不再像以前那样叫我了。
不再像以前那么开朗了。

这一切，我错了吗？
是我多心吗？
是我过分管你？
是我太关心你？
是我多事？
也许，这些都是。


曾经，
我们可以比任何人都要好。
曾经，
我们可以一个话题聊一天。
曾经，
我们可以互相骂彼此。
曾经，
我们可以玩的很疯狂。
这一切，都已是过去。

直到那一天，
原来，我是最傻的。
原来，我是最笨的。
原来，我是多余的。

你不再需要我的关心。
你只需要一群你想的朋友。

你不再需要我的奖励。
你只需要一个肯定。

你不再需要我的陪伴。
你只需要自己的时间忙碌。

你不再需要我的笑话。
你只需要我不再烦你。

你不再需要我的出现。
你长大了。=']

是我太关心你。
是我太在意你。
是我太了解你。
是我太照顾你。
是时候了吗？ ='0
嗯，她长大了。她的坚强代表了很多。=']
Sorry, I gotta. I should have leave you as what you want to be.
I'm invisible starting a long time. =']

*TEARS END UP*

me.me.me

Now, what is going on here?
actually, you'll be asking why am I getting that stress.
no doubt. exam is around the corner.
homework is like mountain here.
And I don't even finish study everything yet.
So, what the fuck that having so much stuff to bother about?!

What? What GenY camp?
camp then camp la. I know I didn't go for the activities twice.
So, that's the reason that cut off my name??
kay?! fine!!!
I'm being doubt!
I'm not that good as her !
I'm useless. I didn't know what's the effort for doing that much on camp during last year
& wasting all my time for it.
Now, I'm out of the list !
You cancel off my name!
I couldn't be that !
I'm not a real leader of TPG.
Doubt!!!!!!
I hate this !

you all doubt me !
doubt as much as you like!
get your own real tpg camper.

Bringing along all the rich ppl to an underprivillaged camp !
USELESS one! You didn't know how hard to earn all those money !

Behind the scene.

Finally, I'm seriously out of my own mind.
I can't hold it that much anymore.
Laughing.
Joking.
Studying.
Trying to be in the gang.
Har! I'm not that brilliant actually.
I asked myself once.
Why am I in this class? Why I'm not in Sc4?
I asked myself again in that night.
I felt so tension. I'm stressed actually.
I can't hold my tears in that night.
So, I cried it out quietly alone in the night.

I tried my best to study the most I could.
I was expecting mt result would be that good for me to get in to the TOP20.
however, I'm wrong.
I'm only in 35.
hahahaha... What a real sarcasm to me.
The 1st time I got my 6A among these 11 subjects.
I'm totally mad...
I'm wondering what wrong's with me.
Why are they so fantastic?
Why I just can't get the same result like them?
I knew I disappointed my parents again.
I just can't get the best in their heart.
They didn't expect to see this kind of result.
I'm not that clever compare to my sister & brother.
I was thinking...
As if i'm at Sc4 , maybe me i'm in the top10 now.
I'm mad.

please told me everything was not bad to me.
I'm trying to get into the LMS team but I lost.
I was deeply hurt with that when I knew that i'm not qualified for that.
Why?
I'm just not in the target.
ya.
So? I'm just lost in one event.
Others, I still can be leading.
Why?
Now, I'm just like nothing.
I just hoping that i could get into the game.
The best I tried, but I had lost.
hmmm?
no, no one knew all these.
It's only a secret in my heart.
No one that I could face and told out.
I hope there is but no one will be.
I never wanted one of them to knew it and sad for that except they had knew that much and asked.
The moment you being alone, you'll never what had happen =)

Be tough of what really mean.

What was the 1st hit on me when i'm really depress?
Crying in the middle of night?
Listening to music and dance?
Having athlete training?
No. I can't release them out.
Don't ask me why.
sometime, you just can't tell it out to those who are around you.
you just want them to reassure you more than worry.
you just smile for the day.
you just be happy for the day.
You just try to forget what really make more worry.

By the way,
I don't remember when was the day that i let go.
I don't remember who were they listen to me.
I don't remember what can help me.

the feeling ...
when you saw the photo.
when you heard that your friend dislike you.
when you know your out.
when you fail to get to target.

Sorry for everything, my friends.
You all never know a smile is how important.
I just know I'm dump!

I will be the strongest !

What actually affect human being the most?
No one can conclude on this.
Everyone has it own starting point and ending point =]

So far so good.
I know this time will be the last time for me to stand on this stage.
I take so much training to get into this competition and now, there is another two get in.
So, they are going to participate with me...
yea... The reason is they are good although no training ...
The moment I heard this, I was like LOL !!!!
And I knew that I lost it my silver medal last.
Fine. It's okay !
I'll be the most shine in front of you this time.
I'll let you know who is the strongest this time, teacher!
I'm not fake! I'm the only one who should deserve this !
I'll break every single record at last time...
I mean it when i say it .
Now, I'll be there right back on my own style, own opportunity and my own hardworking !
I believe this will be the only for you to think that i'm different =D
110 hurdles

400m

1500m
javelin -- 38m
shot put -- 10m

long jump -- 5.4m
high jump -- 160m
I'm ready to GOld!

SPIRIT * COMMITMENT * HARDWORKING